Giving up alcohol is turning out to be easier than I thought. I had my first major test yesterday- a company barbecue. Anyone who knows anything about my company knows that we do two things very well:
a) boozing
b) sport.
Replacing A with B has been very successful, butI did have a few moments of weakness last night. Seeing everyone relaxing after a hard week with a nice, cold, dewy bottle of beer brought me to one of my lower points, that's for sure. I could have MURDERED a beer.
In the end I had two sausages and made my way home. Both me and my NOvember comrade managed to abstain even if it meant evacuating the premises after 25 minutes.
It's now been 12 days without booze. Last night I found myself at home watching my flatmate and his fancy-piece having a lovely time, up to their nuts in a case of beer before deciding to embrace midlife-crisisdom and smoke a few, erm, 'spiritual cigarettes' on the balcony while regressing further and further into adolesence. While I of course laughed at them in my stone cold sober state. By that point I'm wasn't bothered by not drinking with them, and everyone knows that minus a few dabblings in high school and university, I can't stand marijuana anyway and refuse to touch the stuff. Mainly out of fear of what it would do to my waistline.
Of course if there had of been Cokesies in the house I would have most likely been reliving my early 20s and NOvember would now be ancient history. Thankfully it's all but unobtainable in Australia (especially the Celebrity Strength vintage I preferred in my younger years).
What is proving difficult is a life without cigarettes. The withdrawal hasn't been as bad as normal (minus a little hiccup). I do want to be a non-smoker by my 30th birthday. I will do this even if it takes a couple of months. But whereas I'm happy to spend my Friday night at home in a state of unadulterated sobriety (and not missing booze all that much), I can't stop thinking about smoking. I'm trying to develop coping habits- every time I have a craving, I whip out the iPhone and read up on Lung Cancer. And not pedestrian Wikipedia entries. But online advice leaflets for those who have just been diagnosed with the disease. I picture myself in an oncology ward being handed a brochure titled 'Is Palliative Care Right for You?' And 'Palliative Chemo- an attractive End-Of-Life Option- buying you time to make peace with your loved ones, in our exclusive harbourside hospice'.
On a plus, I think of the benefits of not smoking. Better skin (already happening with not drinking). Improved fitness. Money. Cold. Hard. Cash.
If I were to cut out cigarettes and booze entirely, my living costs (based on the past two weeks) after rent, bills, and essentials such as food, would drop from about 700 dollars a week, to under 100. A reduced alcohol tolerance (and not smoking) would mean I could treat myself out to a nice dinner on a Friday night (budget 100 bucks), a few drinks and dancing (make that another 50 to factor in my lowered tolerance), and still do fun, outdoorsy shit that I love on Saturday and Sunday. And still save money.
I've gotten used to not drinking during the week- not cracking that bottle of red when I get home from a long day at the office. Not hopping down to the Kirk for a quickie out of boredom. But weekends are challenging. But I keep imagining a life free of excessive booze and smoking, and it's too good to miss out on.
With that in mind, today I camped out in the lounge to ride out the worst of the nicotine withdrawal. A day spent on the sofa watching television and trying not to think about smoking. I CAN beat cigarettes- I think when you get down to it (and sufficiently numb yourself with a few tranquilisers) it's not that difficult, once you manage to purge the nicotine from your system. Namely by alternating between coffee, orange juice, water, and a continuous stream of food. I've never made a quit attempt without 'help' so to speak, but here's the logic. I'm not entirely convinced Nicotine Replacement Therapy works- why keep nicotine in your system, when if you can make it through three difficult days you can flush it out and be done with it. Im in control- I can have a cigarette whenever I want- I'm just choosing not to have one.
The day went well- at five oclock I was even up for a quick wander around Pyrmont. I'm not out of the woods yet (I still had the uncontrollable urge to sneak up behind tourists posing for photos infront of the city skyline, and push them into the Harbour. I resisted- but only just). But I've got enough momentum at the moment that I CAN FUCKING DO THIS.
My NOvember compatriot and I decided to extend NOvember until the Company Christmas Party on the 9th of december- after all, if we've gone a month, what's an extra 8 days, ten hours, and 45 minutes? This also allows me to successfully ditch the cigarettes without too quickly falling into the 'Im drunk- anyone got a heatz?' trap I've fallen into every other time I've tried to stop. Still thinking ahead, I'll be taking Clove Cigarettes (nicotine free ciggies that taste like apples that have been left to stew in formaldehyde) in case I find it unbearable being surrounded by all those happy smokers- I could have a small indulgence without a nicotine reward and for all intensive purposes remain on the wagon.
There is another drawback to quitting they never tell potential quitters about, by the way. Flatulence. One of the reasons smokers always look so content and relaxed is because they're regular. Who needs a high fibre breakfast cereal when you can have a coffee and a cigarette and clean yourself right out? Remove the nicotine however, and your innards do not know what to do with themselves. Literally every five minutes my arse does its best impression of Kilauea, venting a putrid cocktail of steamy sulphuric gases. Thankfully the withdrawal has also left me so constipated I haven't had any accidental Lahars so to speak, but for someone who doesn't tend to let rip often I find it most disconcerting. Even my cat's avoiding me.
I'm going into work tomorrow. Yes- it's a Sunday. But I can hopefully make up for some of the productivity I lost on Friday during the height of my withdrawal, and it will take my mind off the fact that I'm neither drinking, nor smoking, nor really socialising.
But it's worth it.
Oh Cigarettes- it's been swell.
But the swelling's gone down.
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