So NOvember has come and gone, in the calmest of manners.
Reaching the point which, a month ago, seemed so far away and unattainable, it whispered past with a gentle sigh, slipping away into the ether of Big Nights Out past.
It ended with a bit of an anticlimax. But maybe this shows that we've learnt something.
Nathan and I were supposed to have a quiet meal, but because he was working late, instead we scampered off to the TeaGardens the day before and had a few beers. Ignoring the taunts and comments about it still being NOvember, we plopped down to a fresh beer and toasted the marvel that was....well....us.
The beer tasted lovely. Cold and fresh, I sunk that down peacefully, looking around at the hordes of revellers in the TG. "Was it always this busy?" I asked my NOvember sidekick. Thats how long it felt I had been inside these hallowed (and slightly damp) halls.
After the second beer I began to feel woozy. I knew it was the weakened alcohol tolerance from the past month, but still - it alarmed me slightly that I was a 2 beer wonder. Especially after drinking the previous weekend, I would have thought I'd have been cured of this peculiar affliction by now. But alas, I also noticed Nathan getting a bit louder, cigarettes being lit at a faster frequency and discussions of another beer on the way.
After a misunderstanding about a third beer, I began to think about slowing down the beer consumption rate. I had to go home after all, and the Monster was cooking dinner for me. A trip to the bathroom confirmed that yep, I was wobbly legged.
How the mighty have fallen.
Nathan suggested staying for one more. I refused (something i've never done before!) and it took a bit of convincing Nathan that I should go. A phonecall from the Monster settled the score, and I arose unsteadily from my perch, wondering if I could bear the trials of City Rail.
Financial frugality demanded this, so I caught the train home, trying to shake the fog of the beers out of my head. I finally started to feel a bit better after a brisk walk from the station, and then proceeded to walk into the house not really any worse for the wear.
Now, I don't mean to bore you with the mundane ins and outs of my day - I'm merely attempting to discern the experience and how it affected me. Reading back over the entry so far, I've noticed that it seems to be quite negative - I didnt like the way I felt when drunk, I didnt like being asked to drink, and I was tough enough to leave when I thought I had had enough.
A month ago I would never have exhibited this behaviour - in fact I can picture many other moments, whether with Nathan or others, where all it took to twist my arm into staying for another drink was...well...probably a touch on the shoulder. Someone made me dinner? So what! It'll stay warm in the oven. Late for an appointment? Never mind, I'll reschedule. Someone waiting for me? A text saying I'll be there soonish will sort that out.
So if the worst that happened on our NOvember celebratory drinks was that I was home 15 minutes later than expected - then we have done very very well.
Our next big challenge is going to be The Annual Xmas Annihilation, coming up in 7 days. How will I handle the unlimited alcohol, abundance of peer pressure and (I believe this to be the hardest thing of all), my behaviour at previous Xmas parties. During NOvember I had to adjust my way of thinking, in going out and being around alcohol, and along the way I managed to help a few people change their way of thinking about me as a good time girl/party starter/lush. At the Xmas party this is going to have to be done en masse.
Since NOvember ended, I've had half a glass of wine with dinner. It was a disgusting glass too - so maybe thats the trick? Only drink alcohol that tastes like battery acid, and I'm less inclined to throw it down my gob.
This weekend I'll let myself have a glass or two of wine - only if I feel like it. Remove the prohibition, and I'm less inclined to crave it.
Note that I havent really spoken about my feelings as yet. I'll wait until after the Xmas party to bring them up again - I'm not sure I could handle them sober ;)
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